


the weight of who I am

by SaraJaye



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Hugs, Identity Issues, Keith (Voltron) Has Abandonment Issues, Keith (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith's Galra Heritage, M/M, Post-Episode: s02e08 The Blade of Marmora, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, Shiro is the best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 05:56:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15723354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: The trials and the truths he faced at Marmora's Base are catching up to him, and everything hurts.





	the weight of who I am

**Author's Note:**

> _Author's choice, author's choice, a very good long cry._

He feels made of lead, struggling to walk under the ocean. He's surrounded by a thick fog, even though learning the truth about himself should have made everything clearer. The trials with the Blade, his true heritage, Allura's growing distrust of him as she puts two and two together. He's tired, everything hurts, and he wishes he could go to sleep and not wake up until this is all over.

But when he closes his eyes he sees Shiro walking away, the others looking on him with contempt. _Filth. Traitor. You're only thinking of yourself, you've chosen to be alone._ How can they trust a person carrying the enemy's blood in his veins?

 _I should've never gone. I was better off not knowing, I should've just left it alone._ But it explains why he can't connect with people, why he was basically alone after Dad died and before he met Shiro.

He swallows against the lump forming in his throat, blinks furiously to stem the threat of tears. _I won't cry. I won't cry._

"Keith." The voice comes before the knock does, and for a split second he wants to tell Shiro to leave, that he's fine. _I'm one of the monsters who hurt him. Took his arm, used him as a weapon, made him suffer for who knows how long?_ When Keith doesn't answer, Shiro opens the door, and the sight of that concerned face only makes the lump in his throat bigger.

"I'm okay," he lies. Shiro shakes his head, sitting down beside him, and Keith has to fight the urge to lean against him. Shiro's always been his comfort zone, his rock, but right now he doesn't feel he deserves that security. "Sorry I worried you."

"Keith." Shiro's fingers caress his cheek, and Keith closes his eyes. _You've chosen to be alone._ The sting of tears grows sharper, and his efforts to push Shiro's hand away are met with the clasp of metal on his shoulder. "Keith, talk to me. Please..."

"I-" His voice shakes, his eyes burn, and the lump in his throat is boulder-size now. His attempt at a deep breath ends in a shaky exhale, and he trembles. Shiro's arms are suddenly around him, drawing his head to his shoulder, and the dam breaks. He can barely breathe for the sobs and he knows Shiro's vest is getting soaked and he _just can't stop._ He grips the fabric, pressing himself into the broad chest as if trying to hide there forever. He wishes he could.

The last time he'd let himself cry was at his father's headstone. Even the day Shiro and the Holts had been declared dead, he hadn't let himself shed one tear, instead choosing anger.

He couldn't punch his way out of this one, though, and the years of pent-up pain and grief had finally caught up to him. He hates crying, it makes his head hurt and his eyes burn and his stomach ache. He feels sick, and he can only pray he doesn't throw up.

Shiro's here, though, and he slowly allows himself that comfort. Shiro's human hand on his back, rubbing in comforting circles, his metal arm holding him in place, whispers of _it's okay, I'm here, I won't leave you alone, it's all right, let it out._

He's drained when the tears finally dry up, and he's vaguely aware of a soft kiss to his temple. He looks up, sniffling, and another kiss lands on the bridge of his nose.

"Better now?" Shiro asks, and Keith nods a little. He loves this man, more than he can ever put into words.

"Stay," he whimpers. He's beyond caring if he's being selfish or if he deserves to ask for such a thing, right now he just wants to block out everything but the warmth and safety of Shiro's arms.

Shiro gets them settled under the covers, and Keith doesn't take long to fall asleep to the sound of his breathing.


End file.
